Eliminate the work and stress from sex:

1. Communication. It is very important to communicate with your partner in a gentle, non-threatening manner. Always approach sexual topics with an open mind and an open heart.

Questions to discuss with your partner:

How would you describe the type of communication you have with your partner?

Do you feel comfortable sharing intimate feelings and ideas with your partner?

Do you communicate during an argument or does it escalate to the point of no return?

How do you end up resolving a conflict–through passive-aggressive means until it fades away or are you comfortable talking about how to resolve the issue at hand?

Do you feel like you can share your sexual fantasies with your partner?

Do you know how to communicate with your partner in a loving, compassionate way?

2. Slow down the sex. Think of your sexuality as an exploration with your partner. Take it in slow motion.

Questions to discuss with your partner:

Is lovemaking with your partner fast?

Do you feel you are getting your needs met during sex?

Is your partner aware of your sexual needs?

Do you feel comfortable showing your partner how to please you?

Would you and your partner be willing to slow down the pace in order to maximize sexual pleasure for both of you?

3. Don‟t be “goal-oriented.” Don‟t be concerned about either you or your partner reaching orgasm. Enjoy each other and be in the moment.

Questions to discuss with your partner:

Is your partner concerned about ejaculating and doesn’t wait for you to cum?

Does your partner want you to reach orgasm before he/she does and sometimes this creates a sense of pressure for you?

Could you both explore the option of having a sexual experience and practice not reaching an orgasm? Try it out!

Can you and your partner practice making the goal of sex a more intimate energetic, spiritual connection instead of making it all about the physical pleasure every once in a while?

4. Touch. Use this sense in an almost exaggerated way. Blindfold each other or close your eyes to feel your way as if it is new territory you have yet to discover.

Questions to discuss with your partner:

Do you and your partner touch each other in a loving way?

Do you touch yourself in an erotic way in front of your partner, or is it uncomfortable for you to do so?

Do you try new ways of touching to add more pleasure to yourself and your partner?

Does your partner take his/her time for foreplay?

Do you usually end up moving right to intercourse because your partner is “ready to go?”

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Julianna Lyddon

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